Does she mean what she says?
Most guys fail in relationships with girls and sometimes they do not understand why. This is because if the girl has called the relationship off, it is very difficult to understand why she has done so and even if she has mentioned the reasons, it is difficult to dig out the hidden meaning in those words. Basically girls and guys have a different dictionary which may have the same words but different meanings. Thus, it is best for guys to use this dictionary (which is just a hypothetical and virtual concept) so that they can understand women in a much better way.
There are many men around who really wish such a guide or dictionary really existed so that they could gain respite from searching the hidden meaning of words and digging out the hidden clue that women try giving them through very simple and regular words. The way women understand what you might say as a simple straight forward sentence is also very different. You might just mean something very simple and have no taunts behind it, but they tend to take it otherwise and then begin the series of arguments. So whether it is something that a woman is saying to you or something that you are saying to them, it definitely holds a chance of creating an argument at the end of which you are still thinking – what went wrong.
All this seems a little complicated and funny at times but that’s how it works. Hence it is best to try and take tips from your female friends or others who have a rough idea about the virtual dictionary of women. Most men will agree that talking to women is a lot of fun because you have so many different things to talk about and discuss. There is generally never a sad or dull moment when you are with them (unless you have had a fight or something). Thus it is worth taking the effort to understand what she means rather than not talking to her at all. If you know how to handle these conversations and try and understand meanings, it will be fun. Understanding them is quite challenging but you can always try it for the sake of fun times and a good relationship.
Let’s try and understand a few of these simple to say yet complicated to understand sentences. The most common phrase that you must have heard many times is “I am fine”. For men it is said when you want to say you are good and all is ok but not in the dictionary of women. Remember when she says she is fine it means nothing is OK. In fact there is something that is really wrong and you are the reason for it. This “I am fine” will actually disconnect her from you and she will just want to be alone expecting you to figure out what is wrong. Does this entire episode remind you of something similar that has happened? Sure will because this is the most common problem stemming from men misunderstanding women.
You will learn a few things in due course of the relationship but when you begin one or during the initial stage of the relation, there are many things that a guy must know. You will generally observe that most girls want a sensitive guy as their partner. This does not mean that the guy needs to be very emotional and start crying on every sad incident. It just means that he has to sensitive towards matters related to her and her feelings. So if you are very emotional and too sensitive towards anyone and everyone, she will surely not be attracted towards you. Basically women need a man that can bring stability to her life. Their life according to them is a roller coaster of emotions and problems. They want someone who can bring stability to it by being a constant support.
This is one of the most important points and every man should remember the meaning. One more example is if you have made a plan for the weekend and if your girl says that “Yeah, sure, let’s go out this weekend. Give me a call on Saturday afternoon to confirm the plan.” Your understanding will say that you call her as she said and that she is positive about coming. However that is not the case. Yours is not the only offer she may have for the weekend. Girls like to weigh their options when it comes to enjoyment and then prefer to join the group or set of people where she thinks she will have a great time. So your weekend plan is just like a backup plan. Once she has checked all the available options and she does not want to join you, it will be easier to say no on the phone and hence she asks you to call her. One simple sentence has such a deep meaning and most men will actually take ages to understand this. So if you really want her to join you, lure her with your exciting plans and the fun things you want to do instead of just asking her out for weekend.
The next and the deadliest of all is the sentence that many women often say. “Let’s just be friends” or “I’m not ready for a relationship”. It is heartbreaking to hear this and some men still keep hoping that the not ready may convert to ready if he continues to woo her. You are highly mistaken. The fact that she thinks you are just a friend means that she is not attracted to you and does not see any qualities of a future partner in you. At the same time she does not want to hurt you by giving a blunt No as an answer, but if you are hearing this, it probably means that she doesn’t really even want to be friends. Always remember that a girl who is attracted to you sexually and otherwise will never refuse your proposal. In fact she will try to get closer to you. The fact that she claims that she wants to be just friends means that she just isn’t feeling any attraction for you.
It is a point worth thinking about. What if you were attracted to a woman? Would you tell her that you want to wait for a while before you get into a relationship or that you only want to be friends? (Although, that can be a very powerful technique if used right) It is unbelievable that a man will say such a thing. For a change, in this point both men and women think the same. If you are not going to refrain from getting in a relationship if you are attracted to a woman, so is the case with women. So these typical “just be friends” statements are clear indicators that she is not interested in you and will never be. So it is not worth making efforts to woo her and then be disappointed in the end. It is best to take a clear clue right in the beginning and try to find a girl who will like you and want to be with you.
It is the truth that even if a girl has come out of an unpleasant relationship may end up sleeping with any wrong guy that comes in her way and only if she feels attracted to him. This fact is difficult to digest but it is true. Just like men, women also find it difficult to control their attraction for men. But you will realise this if you have had friend who has gone through a similar situation. If you have any female friends, you can actually take a few tips from them. They can best suggest you what your girl means at what times. Though, it is not very correct to discuss everything with friends. No matter how complicated it is to understand what she says and whether she really means what she says, you need to make the efforts or sometimes just live with it.
The easy way out to all this understanding and interpretation business is to display your strengths and confidence. Try and build attraction every time, keep the emotion and excitement in the relationship on, try wooing her often and then these arguments and “I am fine” episodes will be much rarer. It is also good to communicate and try and understand her thought process. The more you talk or listen to her, especially when she narrates instances about her friends’ relationships, you can take clues that it could happen with you too. Be open about your desires, exhibit your masculinity and always create an impression that you are not a hen=pecked male so that she does not overpower your strength. Women are good at hiding things but if you try just a little more than usual then all these problems will come to an end and you will find it much easier to communicate with your woman. Most men go through a lot of heartbreak and hard times to realise that it is necessary to understand the hidden meaning of all what women say.
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